do vampires just use their teeth to make a puncture wound and then suck, or are their fangs like a straw

i havent slept in three days

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)


liking someone’s selfie takes two seconds and it boosts their self esteem by 203948204

(Source: lloveyou, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)


do you ever see someone hot in public and think “you’ll never know how hard I’m fucking you in my mind”

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)


real friendship is sending them a link to something terrible so you can both be traumatized at the same time

(Source: topchelf, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)



Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation

Albus is 17 and loses his virginity in his room and forgets the snake talks to his dad and when Harry gets home the snake is all like OH MY GOSH YOU’D NEVER GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT HAPPENED

(via queer-drops-on-my-guitar)


*phone vibrates while sitting on it*


(Source: jollymarco, via heart)

I need a nap and an orgasm.

-An Ancient Proverb, probably (via thegreatmadman)

(via queer-drops-on-my-guitar)

Pain changes people.

-(via zustin)

(via underwaterscreams)